the 3-month prognosis: nobody is perfect

it's been three months since the blitzkrieg began and now that all the bombs have dropped, i stand and marvel at where i'm at. instead of ash and plumes of smoke, a calm breeze constantly calms and stirrs my soul. some days are tougher than others but with each passing 24, the heartache lessens.

with a deep sigh i think about what i lost and with another i think about how much i gained:
my family
my friends
my health
and most importantly my eternal Hope.

as a kid/adolescent, mercy and grace were words and concepts that i constantly heard; i thought i'd understood and practiced them but it wasn't until recently that i truly experienced the gravity of what those words truly meant.

looking at this past february, all i would see was pain and misery. going a bit deeper though, past the pain and misery, i am now see growth and joy. these are the intangible things that religion will never be able to give anyone and i will be eternally grateful that my God intervened and took drastic measures to get me back.

bittersweet nostalgia is what i'm left with now.
they are helpful reminders that apart from God i am a wretched and broken man.

and so, with this so hopefully ends the string of emo posts i've written. much love and God bless :)

strangers through blood - part 2

he was late, just like i was hahaa. 

my sister calmed my nerves but as soon as he walked through that door the weight immediately dropped from my throat. 

its been a week since we met and what can i say, God is too good. i don't think i would've ever given my biological father the peace of knowing me if it wasn't for the crazy and the unfathomable work of His spirit. life gets messy and from what i learned, Javier has not had an easy road. i guess i kind of look like him and although i really never took interest in knowing where the other half my dna comes from, i'll admit that it felt good seeing him. 

i still haven't worked up the courage to tell my parents, especially the most important man in my life, the man who stepped up and raised 2 kids from another marriage, my true father Juan. 

2015 has been interesting and i feel like this is just the beginning. i'm far from perfect but everything that shines must first be put through the fire and i welcome it. 

alright, here's to the weekend. 

go clippers!

go manny pacquiao!