the day before my birthday was supposed to mark the last day of being an intern for this music magazine called filter. during the last minutes of my long day running errands and shipping boxes, i was offered a contract position assisting with promotional tours that the magazine sponsored across the united states. the up-coming tour would be 2 weeks long and would have me driving from los angeles to nashville, nashville to omaha, and finally omaha to salt lake city.
and ever since then, in order to offset the 2 weeks that i'll be away, i've picked up about 80 extra hours at my job with virgin america.
i am exhausted.
july has been a blur. it's consisted of 16-hour back to back shifts, sleeping inside the back of a honda coupe, 5 hours of sleep, coffee, and strange eating habits. why am i doing this? i still don't have a definitive answer but i think it mostly stems from my fear of boredom.
and boredom is exactly what i am trying to avoid.
boredom truly is the devil and i definitely do not need idle hands. because when i do get idly, i begin to relapse; the memories which i've buried start to become alive. buried deep enough where my eyes can't see though shallow enough where my ears are still keen. this morning i definitely keened into a memory from the last seven years and it wasn't fun. it also wasn't pretty, but like the sting of a fat mosquito, it felt great scratching it.
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