i woke up this morning with something heavy on my chest. i finally got up, thanked the Lord for the oxygen in my lungs, fired up pandora and began to get my room in order. 2 hours later, halfway through my shave the feeling finally sunk-in.
i was 5 since the last time he saw my face; alot has changed. i don't think i had a beard back then, i also didn't have the 2 gashes that hang on my eyebrows or the scars left from the acne i would later get in my teens. the scar on my left palm is still there though but no longer covers my whole hand. from what my mom tells me i'm also not as quiet and timid as i used to be so indeed alot has changed.
these past 8 months have been somewhat of a spiritual awakening for me. i've ventured into the dark corners of my soul, places that i did not want to revisit. along the way God has revealed so much of who He is and who i am; how much i lack. perspective changes everything and experience along with pain has brought me to my knees and back to the cross. change is inevitable and before the foundations of this planet were settled God knew me, my foolish heart, how prone i'd be to wander, and how utterly desperate i'd be for his grace and forgiveness
and so, he who has been forgiven much in turn must also forgive much as well, which brings me here, not just at this moment inside this coffee bean all shaky hands awaiting to meet this stranger who made me, but prepping myself for what's ahead and mending the bridges i've burned.
ok, i better go now. he's been waiting over 20 years...wouldn't want to keep him waiting
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